As a child I used to look at the world through rose coloured glasses, as I’m sure many others did. That child like innocence is so beautiful. I remember imagining that life would really be like the fairy tales that I used to see in the Disney films, but its not. Prince Charming doesn’t exist, and happily ever after is a lie. Maybe I’m just being cynical cause I’m having a bad week, but right now I’d give anything to go back to that child innocence because I feel so confused with life at the minute, and I just don’t want to care anymore. I don’t want to have to think about my future, my job, money, or any of the things that I call ‘life stressors’. I want to go somewhere where none of it matters and I can just relax any enjoy life. I’m really not happy with where I am at the minute and I have no idea what change to make it all better.
I’ve tried asking myself, what do I need to change? What do I want out of life? Where do I see myself in a certain amount of time? And I honestly just don’t know, and I’m starting wonder will I ever know. Or am I destined to live a life of solitude and unhappiness always wondering what’s missing but never knowing.
The butterfly, for me, is a representation of having gone through a struggle or a journey to find yourself, and finding out that you really are beautiful and happy with everything in your life, and that’s why I asked the question ‘will I ever be a butterfly?‘. I think right now I’m just staring to realise how hard this journey is, especially when there are so many different paths and forks in the road that can dramatically determine the butterfly you’ll end up being. The first step is the most difficult, especially if like me you have no idea where your going or what to do, but with perseverance it will all pay off in the end and we’ll all be butterflies.
So I’m not going to be afraid to step around blindly for a while, and on that note I think I need a change of scenery, so I’m going to look for my gap year book and possibly do some travelling.
Don’t be afraid to take your first step either!
Sienna
Pro 
Darling you are at a great point in your life. Trust me, even at 30 it's hard to know what you want, how to get there or where you see yourself in 5 years' time! I wish I had known at your age what I know now, but then again, strangers' advice is so hard to take.
Just be bold, confident and nice. Ask, or you don't get- but do it with a smile. And learn to say no when things feel wrong. That's it, really!