‘You don’t know what you have until it is gone’

I hate this saying because it is probably the most accurate thing that I have ever read. When you love someone or even like them there is a bond there, and sometimes you can be completely oblivious to it. However when that person leaves you and the link is truly broken, and you know that nothing can ever bring it back, you are left with a broken, distorted shadow of your former self. The worst part is that there is nothing you can do but move on. But you don’t want to move on, you don’t want anything to change because it was perfect the way it was, and now everything is different and that life of perfection that you once lived is now just a distant memory. When all else is gone, we are always left with our memories, and sometimes its not the bad memories that upset us the most, yes you may wish that you could go back and do everything different and change those hateful words you said to kind ones, but it’s the happy memories that hurt me the most, because they are the ones that I would give anything to live through just one more time. To see that person smile just one more time, to hear their laugh just one more time, to hold them just one more time. But that’s never going to happen again, and that’s the brutal piece of reality which I try so hard to accept, but can’t.
It hurts so much to remember those memories, so instead I try to forget, I put those memories in a part of my mind that is locked away, only to be looked at again when I am truly ready. I forget their cheesy smile that could light up a room, I forget the way they used to chuckle not laugh, and I forget their warmth and sweet smell when they used to hold me. I’m still left with an empty feeling, that hole from where they used to be but now, occasionally I forget its there and I feel almost whole, at least for a moment.
My angels, I want to thank you for coming into my life and inspiring me the way you have.
I’ll never forget the way you made me feel, and that part of you will live on forever in my heart.
Until we meet again